I’ve been going through my ‘likes’ on here & what I seem to have liked mostly were posts made from my boyfriend. Now, I don’t mean to be one of those girls who won’t shut up about their boyfriends but girls like that usually have only been with them for about a month, whereas we’re together almost a full year. Anyway, I can’t seem to grasp this feeling I currently have. Looking back, he’d always write about me, even just little things, about how he wished I was there, or how I loved Earl Sweatshirt, he even made a list of 30 things he knew about me right off the bat. I remember over the summer, both of us were going to New York but at different times and we even tried to meet up in Central Park. He said that he didn’t care if he saw me for an hour or even five minutes, but it’d be worth it. It’s so funny, it seems like yesterday we were laying down in his room listening to Pink Floyd with the black light on after our first day of hanging out. I went to his house every day the week after that. He’s my best friend, wholeheartedly, no other could even come close to replacing him, as a lover and a friend.

I remember picking him up from the airport after his trip to New York, too. My mom & I had gotten there fifteen minutes early and all I could think about was, “My baby is about to get off that plane.” My heart raced and my hands were shaking. & There he was, fresh off the plane. He dropped everything in the middle of the isle, said “Come here” and into his arms I went. This guy behind him almost tripped on his skateboard, too.

The first time I slept over his house was horrible, though. See, he didn’t know this, but I had liked him from the first day I went to his house, & to me, that said a lot. The fact that I could feel the way I did about him just within the first day of being with him, said quite a bit. I remember how freaked out my mom got because I asked to sleep over at a guy’s house. She called me every hour asking if I was okay and if I wanted to go home but every time I told her, no. It suuuucked, so bad. All I remembered was that he got tired and when he was to the point where he was going to pass out, he got up, turned off all the lights, walked to his doorway, said “Goodnight, Tiffani” and went into the living room. I wanted nothing more than for him to sleep in that bed next to me but there was nothing I could no about it. He wanted the same as well, and now we spend almost every night in the same bed.

I can’t help but smile while I’m writing this because, I know & don’t care whether or not people read this, but I can just remember every moment spent with him. Even if we were to sit around and watch tv or if we went on a date.

Oh my goodness, I could never forget the first night we spooned, oh god. We were watching Family Guy and we were just laying down, me being on my side, and all of the sudden, I felt an arm go across my waist. He inched closer and just held me until he fell asleep.

Oh! & The first time he told me he loved me, he made a joke about it. Not in the “oh, that’s bad” type of way, but we were laying down getting ready to go to bed, spooning of course, but he whispered “I love you” but in a way that he hoped I wouldn’t catch on to. So after ten minutes of back and forth “what?” “I don’t know” and whispering again, he finally told me, to which I replied.

Even better was the first time we kissed, well, the official first time. It had been before we started dating. He looked me in the eyes and boom, kissed me and said “I’m so glad you’re my best friend.” We stayed up until 2:30 in the morning, just kissing.

I have to say, I’ve never felt so strongly about a person, one of which I never thought I’d feel towards. Not in a bad way, but he was my sister’s friend first. What can I say, though? He’s my baby, my love, my darling, sweetheart, honey, deary, everything, absolutely everything.